Dear
Mr. President,
There
has been an awful lot of uproar lately about you wanting to defund
Planned Parenthood. The talk is that Federal money should not go
toward abortions, and on that Sir, you are absolutely correct. That's
why no Federal funding goes toward abortion services at Planned
Parenthood. Now, after that, they provide a lot of really useful and
necessary care. You see, Mr. President, we women take a lot of
specialized care to remain the ravishing creatures you see before
you. Some of us, though, can't afford it all. And it's not our fault,
Sir. We didn't ask to be born with uteruses, but since we have them,
we have to ensure their health.
I'm
not sure if you know this or not because I'm not sure you've every
had occasion to visit a Planned Parenthood clinic, but they also
provide pap smears, disease screenings, STD treatment, birth control,
and more things that I'm sure I'm forgetting. Without their services,
I'm afraid the country will have a much larger bill in the future.
See, without the pap smears, you're looking at more acute illnesses
that will have to be treated through the health care system. Without
the birth control, more people who cannot afford more babies will get
pregnant, creating more babies and more of a strain on government
assistance programs. I'm sure you don't want that, Mr. President. Why
would you? At least those people will still be covered under the
Affordable Care Act, so it could be worse.
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