Dear
Mr. President,
Let's
talk a little more about Syria. I've been watching some of the news
coverage, and there was one interview in particular that gave me
pause. You talked about being at Mar-a-Lago, which by the way, isn't
a secure enough place to be ordering air strikes from, eating
chocolate cake with Prime Minister Abe, and you told him you had just
ordered an air strike on a country. I'm assuming you told him the
right country because you got a bit flustered in the interview and
told the journalist the wrong country. That's not such a good mistake
to make, though everyone does make mistakes. I feel like I should
mention to you that bombing a country is a solemn occasion, not one
to be taken lightly. It is important, and should be seared into your
memory.
That being said, let's talk about the cake. Chocolate cake is
not a solemn occasion food. I've never been to a funeral with
chocolate cake. Solemn occasion desserts are more like a shortbread
cookie or something plain. If you really need to have cake, I'd pick
more of a tasteless variety. Chocolate is way too exciting. I get it
though. A good piece of chocolate cake is a spiritual experience. But
it shouldn't be so intense that it alters your memories. You should
check to make sure no one tampered with the cake. Maybe get a royal
taster. Alternatively, you could make notes to remind yourself of
important things. It's a really helpful tactic. By the way, is there
any chance I could get a piece of that cake?
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