Dear
Mr. President,
We
need to talk about Mr. Spicer. Sir, are you aware of the things that
he said in defense of the attack on Syria? He went so far beyond the
regular levels of putting his foot in his mouth that we have come to
expect from him. This time, he was inexcusable. He said that Adolf
Hitler—literally the reason there are laws against war crimes—never
stooped to using chemical weapons. Sir, I strongly recommend that he
be forced to watch a holocaust documentary as soon as possible. After
that, I would recommend that all of his speeches and talking points
go through both a protocol official and an extensive editing process.
We've trusted him to write his own reports, but if he continues to
make snafus as serious as calling concentration camps Holocaust
centers, then you should really think about having someone else write
his briefings.
Another
thing you should really be aware of Mr. President, is that Sean
Spicer and the other members of your cabinet act as an extension of
you. As President, you wield supreme, executive power over statements
made by your cabinet almost as if some watery tart threw a sword at
you. I fear that it's up to me to inform you that the American people
are beginning to question your leadership because of such incidents.
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